So excited to speak with someone tomorrow whom I've admired a lot. Offering advice on marketing and branding. For now, lots of good and positive things coming. Body clear of cysts. Hello baby! Holidays approaching and lots of good times to gather with family and friends. Now if I can get the last chandelier finished and get ready to launch kickstarter.com after Christmas – all will be on track!

I am leaping into my life, and it is still unknown. We don't have friends as of yet, we still are navigating new territory here in Seattle –but I find it's exactly now that I begin with gratitude. Starting from where I am and then putting the faith out there: in myself, my life, the universe, my dreams.

Today as always something inspired me. It's the lotus pod. It reminds me of my life...all these little pockets of seeds ready to sprout, nestled inside me. Grateful. Inspired. Ready!

After recovering from surgery, second week in, I find I want to reach for feelings of gratitude. Instead, I am mired in feelings of anger and at a loss of what to do. It was a cathartic surgery; a removal of 4 large cysts that had inhabited my body way too long and caused a lot of damage. I feel lighter now, than ever. I feel the negativity has left my body and it can now rest and heal.

I am dreaming of the life I want, the career I deserve and the success I can taste...and yet today I have no answers. No answers to all the questions I have. Is that bad? Is that where the gratitude falls in? In the space in between no answers, the dreams and wishes? I think its important I find the now in this space. And then maybe the gratitude comes. It is November – Thanksgiving and gratitude and family.

For now I think I will stay in this space I am in...and today be grateful for the surgery I just had. I'm free from cysts and blockages and the road is open again. My road...this road...the road that will lead me to where I am now to where I hope to be.

"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, dwell only here and now in the present." – Buddha

Change can make you feel uncomfortable. Make you doubt your steps. It is a path on a crossroads of possibility and unknown. The worst thing we can do is keep looking at the past and all its perceived failures and judgements and presume it will occur again. Moving with the present moment can alleviate the anxiety, the crisis and put the focus where it needs to remain: the here and now.

Today I take the LEAP into my first blog post ever! Daring to expose my philosophies, dreams, and experiences with you in an effort bring something positive to any reader of this blog.

I have been contemplating how taking action in the direction of a fear or some seemingly unreachable goal often takes A LOT of effort. I'm always looking for ways to trick myself into doing exactly what I think I need to to get over this or to accomplish that.

Photo by ARMLE

Most recently I tackled my fear of attempting inversions in yoga. For years when I was in a class and an inversion came into play I took a seat and did anything but. I would see myself toppling over and really didn't even know where to begin to do them - no matter how much the teacher explained. This week I had a friend who is a yoga teacher come over and teach me the fundamentals of inversions and spot me while I gave it a go. It was surprising to me that I was nervous even though I wasn't even in a class. I guess that's what happens with years of anticipation!

On the first day I was able to do an assisted headstand and hold it for what I felt was a good amount of  time. The second day we were trying something in between a headstand and a handstand - basically balancing on the hands and forearms with the head lifted. That didn't go very smoothly - but I did start getting the idea of how it's supposed to work. The kicker was that later the same day after my second class I spent some time attempting to do a headstand with out a wall or anyone around to help me and I succeeded!

It really is silly how many years I have avoided inversons in yoga and in two days I'm over it. It just goes to show me that often the hold up is asking for the assistance - rather than the actual fear or goal.

Note to self: Learn to ask for help...sooner than later.

The other day while rummaging through my journal, I found a long list of an ideal place I wanted to live. It was way back in January of 2009.

Today, October 12, 2011, the place I live mirrors precisely what my two year old list, echoed.

So you want a change but you don’t know what to do and it’s paralyzing to contemplate all the options. How do you move into a new field? How do you find your passion? Where would you like to live that makes your heart soar? Is it possible to start your own business, or move into a new career? Can you become the person you’ve always wanted to be?

It’s tough embracing those aspects of yourself that are screaming out for change. But taking the right steps can bring us closer to our dream – whatever it may be.

You must move forward so the Universe can meet you halfway – which in most cases always moves more than halfway. You must show yourself, the Universe and others around you, the most important thing–is yourself. After that, everything starts to fall into place.

Back then, I lived somewhere I did not want to live, had no money to move, and no prospect of moving. But somehow, the Universe put the puzzle pieces together and made things happen. These things by the way that were not all pleasant– they were hard, traumatic and required sacrifice–however looking back now, it was the only way to get from the pages of a list to the reality of a real place.

The theme of this blog is to LEAP. Start new. At this moment, I now sit surrounded by unopened boxes from my other life on the east coast. I took the leap and have landed. I am overwhelmed and emotional. Starting new, far away from friends and family–facing a future still uncertain and fragile. It's all up to me now how I process this. Let it in. I keep waiting for when I will embrace where I am fully–I am not sure when that will happen. Perhaps that will come as I keep moving through the days, creating my life. For now, I wait. Blank canvas shaping slowly.